Changing

Hash of a conversation is nothing but passing time
All that it is doing is letting this rhyme
It isn't all that hard but still you're scarred
Even if you could change the way it's charred
Nothing like a burnt bridge
But still in then you are on a mend
Swept by troubles and by pain
There will always be good memories
The times are hard and the times are sad
There will always be a day of saving grace
The camera is flashing, capturing you're heart
Only in the past can you forget
The way things were and what they meant

A Story That I'm Working On Part 3

I told myself that I was leaving this man, but there was just something about him that made me stay. He didn't know that I over heard his conversation. And you know that I made sure I kept it to myself! You know them hood rats will sale you out right quick if you give them something juicy to gossip about! Dang! When you really need a friend you don't know if you can trust them. Now don't get me wrong, I've known my girls since we was in diapers, but them hoes don't know when to keep their mouths shut! I ain't calling them a hoe for no reason now. They be working every man they see that has a little bling bling. It's such a sad sight, but in the end they make sure that they got themselves covered and a roof over their heads. I mean I don't blame them for going the easy route, but jeez it wouldn't kill them to make a real living like the rest of us real people!

I happen to work at the only gas station that is within 3 miles of any major items. So since I'm the only gas station in this radius you know that I'm a target right?! All these crack heads looking for their next fix! Don't even get me started on these wanna be drug dealers! To me they just like babies still in diapers. They wanna act like they got it and they all hard, but as soon as you scare them they're sh**ing on themselves in fear and trying to run away from their problems but end up tripping on them like a baby tripping on itself when just learning to walk. Instead of using their words like the big boys they are they go around shooting people because they're throwing a fit cuz they didn't like the way some guy looked at them. PLEASE! I'mma need all of them to grow up! What bugs me the most is how they be recruiting kids that are only like eight years old. I mean who would want to ruin someone else's childhood because they was a punk and couldn't choose the higher road?! These boys need to learn to be an example for these younger children and make sure they get on the right track and stay on it. Again yall got me trailing off my story! Yall sure do know how to make me talk!

Working at the gas station had me on high alert all the time. I never knew when I was gonna get a crazy person in there. Just in the past week I was almost robbed about 3 times. The sad part is that that is on a good week! Then on top of these robberies I got people tryna steal gas cuz they're poor. But I ain't like them, I report 'um to the cops and keep on moving with my life. I think that's the reason why the put me in charge of this facility. I laugh on the inside since when I had first started working here they told me that I wasn't gonna even last a day. Funny how it's been going on three years now. Proving people wrong is one of the best accomplishments in life and I expect every last one of yall to at least prove yourself to at least one of those people who are always hating! Well one night when I was working the late shift a woman comes in with about five children and lets them start wandering around the store. Now I tried to ask this female nicely if she'd be so kind as to round her bae bae children up, but she started bumping her gums at me like she was crazy! OOOOHHHHHH it took everything in me not to jump over that counter and beat some sense into her and her bad A kids! While this was going on in my store some "customers" were at the gas pumps and filling up their cars. Well I hadn't noticed that they had like five cars out there getting filled since this nasty female was in here all up in my face while her children were tearing up my store! Well all of them ended up getting their cars filled for free that night! And that hefa didn't even buy anything! All she did was try and rip me a new one as her little terrors were going about and taking and smashing things on the floor. But you know that they made sure they got them something to drink! I am so glad that management had just finished installing video cameras because though I thought that was bad. It didn't even hit the tip of the iceberg to come... 

A Story That I'm Working On Part 2

We had been seeing one another for about two weeks now. I learned that his name is Shuran Despote, but he likes to go by Shane. A cute name for a cute man! Oh I was so in love with this man. Everything little thing he did turned me on! Just him walking through that door got me so hot that I literally had to change my underwear. But you know those older people say that when it looks to good to be true it usually is. Well, lets just say I had to learn the hard way.

One day Shane had just came home from his "work". When I mean work he doesn't really have a job. See, he's one of these cats who sales merchandise on the corners, but he ain't a drug dealer. I mean he's fine and all but not fine enough for me to be with like that! No man is worth that drama! Back to my story... He had just came home from "work" when there was a phone call and he told me he got it. Well I didn't care about that part. What I cared about was the way he was coding he messages through the phone and talking low. As you would do when something suspicious is going on you gotta get nosy. SO I decided to go to another room and pick up the phone.

"Juicy detail is what I was looking for and right now I ain't got none! What do you mean that this fool snuck out of your site and then knocked you out?!"

"Just like I said JR. Now I know that the mafia mad that I missed a target, but ain't this the first time I ever made a mistake? Remember that yall came to me and asked for this favor!"

"LOOK! I know this and I'mma preach this! We may have came to you but we ain't come to you for you to mess up on something simple. Now you need to fix this and fix it quick because if you don't... Oh if you don't I promise you my damn self that you're gonna wish you did."

"Threats huh? You think you're big boss now? Well let me tell you this... I am the best at what I do! Matter fact I'm the best through the whole state! You better make sure before you come and check me that I ain't got nothing on you that would rock your world! After all we are adults. No need to play games when this is a man eat man world. All I'm saying is watch your back and I'll finish what you asked me to do."

"NO FUNNY BUSINESS!!!!"  Click.

I'm not saying that I knew the man all the way, but this is some major HEAT. How you not gonna tell your girl that you go her life floating all up through your drama?! And to think that I found a man who was decent and true. Them old folks was right. I need to hope my tale out of this nightmare and start living single again!

You

Passage, Baggage, Looking at the night
Oh how it was breathing taking before my sight
Who said you need eyes to paint your mind?
When you have imagination that's one of a kind
All you need is the key you
Then all the rest will come through
It is a path that you can shoot straight
So do like Cupid and pretend that it's fate
There is no trick question or a catch to this case
Just take a quick journey and you'll get it with haste
No super glue to hold you strong
What you have in you has been there all along
Don't listen to these haters when you're only so real
So give em a taste of their medicine and show um how you feel
This isn't a lecture and it really ain't school
So do what you do and act like a fool

Eyes On Me

I see you standing on the side
Pretending like you're trying to hide
I see that you're looking at me
You just don't want people to see
The way that you eye me and I look at you
But really it could have been just us two
It wouldn't have been that hard
To just mark your  yard
But even now when  you have the chance
You don't take the time to enhance
Well that's ok because now I know
I will be the one conducting the show

Stuck

Sitting dazed and confused
Wondering what I should do
Looking all around but no answer is found
Play back in my mind like I can rewind
To bad for me that things like that can't be done
Wow, now I'm standing here looking all sprung
This wasn't suppose to be me
Honestly am I going crazy?
The pictures I have I really wanted to last
But like so many things it's just in the past
Think about other things you say
Well, how about I try that every single day
I guess you have me and I have you
Too bad that you won't make a move

Life In Store

Open me up like a pair of stitches
Only in this life will you encounter hitches
The type of many that can spread around
Even with a strong heart it's still hard to pound
Beat out the ugly and beat out the hate
They say only us people can choose our fate
But there are people like me who know so much more
So don't think that's all that you stand for
We are so many things that can't be deemed
It only helps with our self esteem
There is not a no and not a yes
But deep in the heart you need to regress
Back up to the moment you thought of now
When you are through you'll want to skip town
There are so many things that can't be controlled
So be like me and see what life has in store

A Story I'm Working On- Part 1

     Isn't it funny how a woman can play just as good of a game as a man? I know that us women have come up in class by a long shot. But that never meant that we were dumb by far. Just uneducated because the men didn't deem us worthy. Oh but times really have changed. Women can work and do almost anything a man can do. As nice as that may sound that is not where my story began. Or should I back up more into my life and spill some secrets that I once swore to myself that I wouldn't? Oh why not! I'm old enough now to spread a little wisdom. Lets just hope this doesn't come back to bite me later eh.

     What a wonderful day it was on the fall day of October 22, 1998. The kids were out playing at the park; people were friendly and social, but what I remember most that day is I was just finishing up with a buddy of mine when some man just came up and grabbed me like he owned me or something. My first reaction was to knock that joker out flat as a discus. I tried but it didn't work to well. That's what happens when you're related I guess. They happen to know your every move.

  "Dang cuz! Why you gotta act like that! You know I was just playing!" exasperated my cousin.

  "Boy you know not to run up on people like that I could have killed you!"
 
  "Ya but you didn't so where's my hello?"

  "What? You think its like that now? You don't get no love from me baby boy. You'll learn one of 
  these days." As I rolled my eyes and walked away.

     See the problem with these triflin' fools is that they think they own the place. But nowadays its not even how they think it is. Me I run my own house, and the company I keep do the same. I ain't sayin' all men are greasy, but my cousin is a prime example of hood! As I was still steaming on my cousin I happened to see this really fly, I mean really fly man come my way. You know I couldn't help myself but to stop and stare. That for sure totally ain't my thing though. I am the last one of these girls to stop and drool when I see me a bangin' man, but the dude somethin' special. Shoo how good he looking I'm willing to take him home right now! Who knows what might go down!

     Being the loud mouth that I am though I decided to stop him and make a little small chat. Hey, I just figured that he'd be another trophy hanging up on my wall. Boy was I a fool when I thought that. This dude, that I didn't learn till later on, gots some good game. Shoot! If I wasn't aware of a lil' somethin' somethin' my heart would have been all over the side walk. Good thing I ain't a newbie!

Share

Show us some mercy
And I'll show you my heart
Even now I can't do my part
It was all about me, then I met you
Oh how I was such the fool
Too deep in thought about what I would do
Now it's time to switch sides
There are no more free joy rides
Take my journey far and rough
But if I have you that is more than enough
There is such a thing called matrimony
With you by me it is so holy
With a three cord bond
We can always stay strong
But only if you are willing to share
For my one and only is way up there

Bow

Deprevastion of all sensation
This is what's so motivatin'
Shallow faults of all doubts
Since from here on out we only shout
Shout about glory and about praise
No one will touch the treasure we raise
With all the things that come into light
There is no way that there will be fright
Thou shall forever be in you debt
Because without you we wouldn't be there yet
Walking tall and walking strong
Only you could take me on
We are one in the making
But only because you're shaking
Shaking the beliefs of everything around
Pretty soon you'll be posted all around town
This is not a pretty duet
But in the end you won't ever fret
The time is now and it was before
There will be no unholy galore
Starting here and starting now
Here and forever I take my bow

Unpredictable

Bite your tongue and swallow shut
If you don't it's your pride I'll gut
There is no need for such disgrace
When all that was done just changed a face
It was one of such sadness
But has now turned to gladness
That storm was way to rough
But now the bad memories can rust
This is not the place for the weak
It is a place that we come to for peace
The silence in the atmosphere
Is only that of a quaint reindeer
Hop and jump but always so quick
Never in this lifetime will you catch a glimpse

Stand Up

Tendorize my aggression
For now it's my oppression
I sit and symbolize
All the mighty things I stood beside
Looking back how can one be
On such a level of misery
When all that's been done was oh so great
Now it's as if all have lost fate
Symbolize that pride that was in store
So there can be more for the people on shore
We are here to do the part
The one that nobody planned to start

Caution

Prestine and so clean
Is there a way this can be redeemed?
Such a fruitful desire
That has all but prespired
It is not I who holds the key
But has been put in a remedy
A concoction filled with so many things
Who knows if this is a fling
Or something that can fullfil thy needs
It has came before so you shall heed
Everything that's been said to thee
We are the keepers of times display
So you better make sure that you're here to stay

Apart of Me

Section a piece of me and seal it away
There is now a time for us to hold such dismay
It was our attention that brought this on
So in the mean time let us hold strong
This was coming one way or another
Let's be glad that is came upon summer
We were one in hand and we were one in all
To bad that it has come to the point of fall
These next months sure are cold and harsh
But these are the days that we will never be apart
I swore to you and crossed my heart
That everyday you get to see a new start
The time is now for you to be free
But just remember that you are apart of me

You and Me

Sweep me off my feet
And I'll forever be your keep
You are my guard
I am your heart
We go hand and hand
Just like a band
Us together is just like a harmony
But only I have the melody
You are the rhythm
For I am the beat
Even the unfortunate move their feet
We belong together
Yes, you and I
This is why I won't say goodbye

Crush

Wish upon a wishing star
Tell me then how far you are
I look for you every night
Still you avoid my sight
I see you in the day and you look away
I know you want me
And I know that this is keen
Your music is what plays me to sleep
But without you around I still creep
Looking and hoping you will hold our flame
We do have something that can't be tamed
So why is it that you can't look my way
When I see you I just run out of words to say
Lets go back to the night when it was just you and me
The way it's always suppose to be

Washed Away

Take upon its temper
And show the way
The only way to ease the pain
Marked to suffer in this world
When never getting a chance to grow
The pain written in stone
Was an act of randomness
Though that's true people got hurt
Even now they say for a better cause
Yet, how can that be so when they were poor innocent souls?
A history of violence that only leaves turmoil
The only thing to do is bury it in the soil
But if that is done then more is gone than gained
Who remembers that being the American Dream?

Time For Change

Look at me
Can you see what I see?
The world around still pounds at my door
Looking for that long lost soul
Can you find something without a cause?
Or do you put it off like a long pause?
This is no instrument to be fine tuned
When all it did was bend the rules
We are not of the people who are just straight
We like to look things in the face
They say back down and we stand up
Yet they wanna say that strength is for shmucks
I'm up for the for the challenge of fighting the old
And we all know that it is time to mold
Mold our new future and make it for us
Since first of all this should have been a must
But no matter right now
All that needs to be done is make a sound
Show your voice to the aging face
And for once in your life there will be no disgrace

Gone

Lies, can it be true?
Were you the one who snuck in my room?
Was it you who put me in shallow holdings
Never knowing what you were postponing?
Was I that child who made you think
Yet and still you weren't crazy enough to see a shrink
I was your doctor, I was your all
Still and then you let that fall
The friendship we had was a one and only
There is no need for allimony
When it was you and you took from me
Lets see who eats from my tree!
I am strong and will go on
So how can you sing my favorite song?
The trust is gone and you won't move on
But for me I've been long gone

Old Times Sake

Slipping deeper into me
I fall for the things of the world
I am the mortal in my dream
But I see to the unseen
I look deeper into me
Or should I say you
When you and I are so much a like
I misstep and fall on you
Who knew that we could be this way
But at times I fell astray
As if I don't remember the good of you
I slip again and I see you and me
The way we held hands and how it was just me and you
I slip deeper this time and I see what we meant to the world
We were of the people who only brought joy
You were my smile
And I was your grace
But that just seems so far away
One of these days you and I will be
The duo of happy just for old times sake

Hope

Night, light, it's oh so bright
Even I can't stand the light
Turn on my shade
For I will not jade
Slice through the peace you brought
When I remember the times of distraught
The way we cried against the tide
The way we chose not to abide
I am the wise and I do see
That you bring good things to be

Good of People

Prompting, pacing, always waiting
All the things that are demonstrating
Passive love and unholding strength to the gaze of contempt
Stationed right by the lock and key
Still for all that can be seen
A jagged tooth and a snicker boost always takes a toll
But as you come to the line of my attire
There will always be that desire
Strip down walls as they become underground
Responding to that you raise higher
Lift me good fellow as I do you
Then we will all have some dream that is true

A Flame Still Burns

Winter grew in your heart
Leaving nothing to be warm
You stare in a trance, hoping to come back to the line of duty you had before
Strong and civil you fought for you
And the many people who didn't understand the rules
Your smile was genuine as was your heart
Till one day they broke apart
Shattered and confused you stood in one spot
Watching so daunting as they ripped your heart
Torn to pieces like shattered glue
Every pain you have is like a tattoo
Unerased by time that has not been nice
You've been forced to live in unsolid solice
Warmth comes no more and that is all you live for
But to that torn heart in your chest you swore to it your given unrest
Locked in layers of loneliness, you wrapped your arms around you like an unanswered prayer
Cry out for some help and you will find that the ice can't compare to the combination of love and divine. Speak clear to your heart
For it has been healed
Even after all these years
There still is a flame that burns in you

Together We Grow

Fruit of thy loins have given thy a coin
Prance at the pick, for both of us are sick
Stepping past the boundaries of the line
You and I stay intertwined
Tangled in the faults of our own
This thing here can not be postponed
Ranting and raving of the fruit freshly plucked
There is such a teeth that easily suck
Drain thy nutrients and give them growth
For this we use to help us both
Kiss my desires to the sky
When night comes I'll be your lullaby
Rock you sweetly to a bliss
This will be a thing truely missed
Wave goodbye and bid farewell
Since these are the days we will always share

Lust of the World

State you claim and I'll give you fame
Ten seconds of the light sure will give you a fight
But when you look you will be hooked on the fruitless love of true
Can you be called the atom of who?
Lust in my eyes can never tell lies as I whisper to you a spell
Engulfed in enchantment given from hell
Extinguish me and blow me to dust
Even after all that you still will lust

Crush

Size of the heart is the measure of appeal
ut in the heat of the moment it is your seal
You're bound to me as I am you
So nevertheless our love is true
No need to resist what u feel inside
For my fellings for you I cannot hide
As our lips speaken of heavenly bliss
This will be our divine first kiss
Look at me and I'll see through
The heart that's always been so true

Shelter

Bedrridden to the love you give, I become sick
Fight the urge of desire and feen for the unknowing
Test the ropes of my boat and I shall show you fearing to endure
Soak me good with shadow doubts as I run to you for shelter
Bottle up the pride I kept
I give to you as offering, my unfolding tide to indepth
Mind my selter and hold my shelter
This boat won't rock til you say go
Rock this world that we ato be a rollercoaster
Shiver the chills tht come with darkness as my highs turn to strife
Kiss me long and gently as I you near
Remember when I said I need you?
Will lets state on thing clear
I need you now and I'll need you later
But promise me you'll stay my shelter

Love of a Writer

Engrossed by my own demand I give in to the demands of my hands
Oh how the pen is clasped like lovers placed together in time as a symphony
Without the music playing there is no song to move my feet
Standing parallel to my lovers well
I feed upon his release
Take the breath that comes from me as I take your pity
The flames erupt and you had enough
Yet I call and beg for more
Kiss the depths of me whole as I linger on to your soul
You're engraved in me as I am you
What can I do but sub score?
I feed into you as you eat my platter with delight
Relish the place where we became one
Once when I was the pen in your hand

Prisoner

Tick Tok, Tick Tok, BOOM!
My mind is my body and my soul is the tree
So how is it that I've become the prisoner of me?
Can it be the way the sun lights the land?
Or is it the way the wind touches my hand?
Breathless take backs of my own memoirs
Settling memories of my own guitar
My life the strings of my prison unkept
Will also be the memories that I'll never forget
Swade by the sound of natures music, but still the war of my mind
Sometimes my prison feels safe, that is until my emotions unwind
My strings tremble, as does my flesh
The song I heard has regressed to the unsettling sound of my hearts distress
Baptize me in the water of pure
This way I know tat I'm your for sure

Inner Child

Magic... Who said dreams couldn't come true?
The believer of destiny is given but only to a handful unyielded rue
Capture thy mask of fret for the child within says sing
Why deny my inner child of the peace that spreads around?
It's just like Christmas and I'm ready to go to town
Lemme speak of the  dreams that we all once shared
The kid inside that you once were only looks back at you
But for me my soul is free and I journey to your needs
Dreams... To good to be true?
Well anything is possible when it comes to you
Inner child you speak to me
And for once in my old age I shall listen and fly with the flock of the free!

Him

Take these eyes, and I'll trade my lines
For something that is so much more
Even more then the words drifting on shore
These are the letters of my quest
Engulfing myself in all this stress
I choose to stand for something tall
Something that will never fall
I am weak to the bone
Yet, even you can't see when we talk on the phone
It's bigger and better and you can't see
If you won't ever open up to me
I am your shoulder and he's your holder
Friends can come and they may go
But his love for all cannot be shown
You have to see through the love of him
Just so you can understand how to slim
Slim yourself of the world within
And see for you in the world of him